Going through a divorce is often complicated and emotionally stressful enough without having to worry about a lying spouse. A spouse who is a compulsive liar will often say anything, no matter how outlandish, to get what they want out of a divorce.
When your spouse continues their lying throughout the divorce process, the situation can quickly become volatile and cause you significant mental distress.
Why spouses lie
There are various reasons spouses lie during the divorce process and many revolve around making or saving themselves money. Spouses may lie to avoid or reduce an alimony or child support payment or obtain a higher share of marital property. Sometimes spouses lie simply get revenge or make the other spouse upset.
If this sounds like your situation, here are some strategies that can help. You need to do more than simply call your spouse a liar. You must prove it.
Spouses who lie about one issue typically lie about others. Rather than make a blanket statement that your spouse is lying about everything, make a written list of every fact your spouse has lied about. Next to the lie, write the truth and what evidence you have that can prove the truth.
Collect your evidence
Gathering evidence is your next step. The best way to prove a lie is to present physical evidence through documentation.
If your spouse is lying about financial information, collect all financial documents you can to prove their lies. These could include appraisals, bank account statements, paystubs or tax returns.
Follow this strategy for each lie, even small ones. For example, if your spouse says that they never work on weekends, provide a text message conversation with them in which they say they must work on Saturday.
Proving even a minor lie such as this can show a court that your spouse has a history of being dishonest. This will reduce their credibility before a judge.
Communicate in writing
Only communicate with your spouse in writing. Proving a lie through “he said/she said” is difficult and often impossible.
Lying spouses can be exhausting. Using these strategies can help you prove their lies in court and increase your chance of an outcome in your favor.